Frieren is one of my favourite anime series. The titular character, being an elf mage who has lived over a thousand years, makes for the perfect protagonist in a story that has this overarching theme of the passage of time.

Throughout the show, Frieren accepts grimoires with odd spells like one to flip pancakes perfectly, one that helps scratch itchy parts on your back, and even one that turns sweet grapes sour. Compared to spells that would be immediately useful in combat, these silly spells seem utterly useless. It's a very intriguing part of Frieren's character. At first, I laughed at the absurdity of these interactions, thinking why anyone would do such a thing. But when I pointed the mirror at myself, I realized I'm no different than Frieren. And after some deliberation, I realize that is a good thing.

I recently graduated, completing my bachelor's in Computer Systems Engineering. I thought I had everything figured out, and it would go exactly as I thought in my head, but lo and behold, it did not. For one, computer engineering is not easy. Even worse, getting the degree doesn't magically give you super powers, as much as I'd hope the Iron Ring would've. I saw the sparkles in my eyes as a freshman slowly fade as I went through my program, getting more and more frustrated with what I was doing and what I thought I wanted to do.

The misalignment with my expectations and reality kind of checked me out of the whole "game". It puts me back to a thought I had in high school, imagining I would finally be around people who really cared about technology and engineering, only for the majority to be mostly interested in job prospects. I get it, job titles are great, and the money you get from it is great too. I find, though, that true value does not come from the paycheck. Sure, it may be some semi-tangible way of getting value out of your work, but I don't think it is the ultimate measurement of progress or resolve. I feel this is somewhat of a shared mindset between Frieren and I. As the world continues to move, we seem to be stuck doing things our own way. Frieren collects odd spells, I gain esoteric computer knowledge.

So just like with Frieren, I don't know if I want to follow the same generic path laid out. There's so much more to learn and obsess about, and I would rather do that. I think in the end, it will be more rewarding too.

One thing we find out in Frieren is that those "useless" spells were not as useless as we initially thought they were. The spell for turning sweet grapes sour, for example, was purchased by Frieren for Eisen, who prefers sour grapes. In another episode, Frieren shows off a funny spell to make rock golems that can dance. She later uses the same spell to create much scarier rock golems that are used in combat.

What makes Frieren an extraordinary mage is not her technical skills, but rather her imagination in conjunction with her eclectic collection, gathered only through her pursuit of learning the craft. I too, want to be like Frieren in that regard. Frieren was also responsible for showing the beauty of magic to a young, lost boy by casting a spell to create a field of flowers. That young boy went on to ask Frieren to join his party to defeat the Demon King. I am of course referring to Himmel the Hero. As Frieren said, "It's probably just a coincidence, but it was that useless spell my master taught me that brought me and my companions together."

It is important to remember that Frieren is a fictional character who lives in a fictional world, but the lessons I take away aren't. I probably can't wait a few hundred years to find my Himmel who will give me purpose, but sometimes that is a personal journey one must go on themselves. It took a while, but I think I'm ready to get back on my feet and learn to walk again.

Regardless of what's going on in the world, whether it be AI dooming us all, or terrible unemployment rates, true passion does not care. I'll be there, good times or bad. Lucrative or not. For I must keep in mind why I even engineer to begin with. As I've told many people, I've wanted to be an engineer to help people. With my interest for computers and technology, it means that computer engineering is how I would achieve that goal. So if I have helped you in any way, made you think differently, or even inspired you, then I think I've done my job. My real job. My ultimate job. My Dharma.

thank you